A load of CRAP!!!

There are no pictures for this post, and if you keep reading you will thank me later. I took C. into the shower with me this morning because he knows how to undo the deadbolt and if I leave him watching movies or cartoons, he will likely end up down the street. And so we get in the shower get clean and I get out. Well, Mr. C. doesn't want to get out yet. He enjoys playing with the squeegie (spelling? at least phonetically it's right) (isn't is sad that phonetically isn't hard for me to spell, but squeegie is?). Anyway, I leave him playing in the shower while I get dressed and do my hair. I start to blow dry my hair, which he loves as the wind makes him catch his breath, and then get busy trying to add some volume and just a little flip to the ends of my hair. In the short amount of time it takes me to do this...well, let's just say that C. had some business of his own to attend to. Right there on the shower floor. If this isn't bad enough he's using the blade of the squeegie to "chop" the nuggets into smaller nuggets, and using the handle of the same tool to compact the goodies into the floor. What does one do in this scenario? I mean besides run screaming/crying from the room? Well, one tries valiantly not to gag. Not to be gross, but we are dealing with hot, moist air and we know how well that kind of air carries smells. Especially when said person is also pregnant, and therefore more sensitive to nausea inducing smells, one will likely vomit into one's mouth and escape the room more than once in a heaving rush. Once one has mastered holding one's breath for extended lengths of time, one will proceed to retrieve said slicing and mashing tools from said two year old. Then one will try very hard not to be touched by said two-year old until antibacterial soap and sprays can be employed by the gallon to clean up said mess. (as I type this I am double checking my hands again to make sure that the ten times I have washed them are sufficient to remove any hint of excrement.) I am relating this tale, not to make everyone as sick as I have been today- no I have a nobler purpose in mind. When the day is not going as you would hope, read this and think about me, on my knees, gagging, with an entire bottle of Comet scrubbing the shower floor and wondering how exactly the pipes run from the shower drain and if I will regret letting some of the smaller pieces get washed down there and SMILE, for the crap you are dealing with, probably doesn't smell this bad!!!